At one time I had an amazing holiday in America where I visited New England, a region I had wanted to visit for many years. Seeing the fall leaves in New Hampshire, the beautiful houses in Maine, the sheer beauty of Martha’s Vineyard as well as the magic of New York reminded me that I had downsized my dreams.
The first time I became aware that I had a tendency to downsize my dreams occurred when I visited Hearst Castle in San Simeon, located between Los Angeles and San Francisco. At that time I was just getting back on my feet after a difficult financial period and I hadn’t realised how much I had stopped being honest with myself about what I really wanted. Hearst Castle itself is rather dark and dreary, but the palazzo in front of the castle is a different story. It is magnificent.
When I sat there enjoying all the beauty around me I said to myself, “I am thinking way too small”. I came home from that trip, prepared my house for sale, and as often happens when we prepare for what we want, I saw an ad for a house in the suburb that I really wanted to live that was within my means. I had thought living in that suburb was out of reach, so had I never looked. If I had continued thinking small I would never have looked and recognised the opportunity. Moving into the area where I really wanted to live was just the start. Soon after my business took off. My book became a best-seller. My whole life improved because I acted as if I believed I could have what I really wanted.
When I worked as a financial planner I met many people who came into money unexpectedly, and so many of these people made poor choices and lost that money within a short period of time. Statistics back this up as four out of five lotteries winners revert to their original state within five years.
Within each of us is a very detailed picture of the person that we think we are. This image encompasses our appearance, skills, wealth, intelligence, and sets our comfort zone. This picture is only how we perceive ourselves. It may not necessarily be true but we make it true by our actions. Our perception results from decisions we made and then consistently acted upon.
Make the new decision that you can have what you want, then support that decision with all of your choices.
When you work and socialise with the same people, live in the same area and holiday in the same place time and time again it’s only natural that you start to believe that is all you can have. Do things differently. Holiday in a different place, take regular weekends away to places you’ve never been. Contact an old friend you have lost touch with. Start acting as if you can have what you want now. Dress up, set the table nicely, pick flowers for the house, redo or replace one piece of furniture or one corner of a room at a time. Change one small thing about your appearance.
Making one small change will make you feel good in the short term but it won’t do much to change your perception over the longer term. However, by adding more into your life on a regular basis you start to believe you can have what you really want.
Put how you are going to achieve your dreams aside and focus on how you will feel once you have what you want. Choose it, then support that choice with your thoughts, words and actions daily. Then watch the miracle occur.