Most of us have hopes and dreams which give our lives meaning and structure but as time goes by dreams change, our children grow up and our roles in life change.
Work which may have once fulfilled us may suddenly become a chore. Relationships change or break down altogether.
And for some of us our big dream never came to fruition, leaving us wondering, What now?
Sometimes nothing really happens at all, you just feel lost, confused, directionless.
Midlife is a time when your discontent refuses to be silenced and it’s rarely something we talk about.
This stage in life is often referred to as a midlife crisis, but a better way to describe it is an unravelling, Some of us experience this transition in our late forties and fifties, some go through this transition as young as 35. And some of us go through it more than once right up until our seventies and eighties.
Midlife unravelling is not something that just happens to women, men are just as likely to experience this transition as well.
Later stages of life hold their own challenges. We face our own mortality, we often have less friends and less opportunities to connect with others. We may not feel heard and often our lives lack purpose.
Whatever you may be experiencing, this time in life is something you can’t control, manage or fix, you just need to go through it, but how you go through it determines how good the next stage of your life will be. If you use this time to understand yourself, to learn new skills, or view it as an opportunity to revitalise your life you may find, as I did, that it was one of the best things that ever happened to you even though it felt unpleasant at the time.
Mid and late life can be scary as you are moving into uncharted territory, but it can also be exciting, adventurous and joyful. You may finally be clear on what your life is really all about
- Midlife is a time for:
- shedding old expectations
- reassessing what makes you happy
- connecting with a community
- listening to your soul
- discovering or reinvigorating your purpose
When our lives start to unravel it’s time to stop pretending, to stop lying to ourselves and to start listening. For as long as we resist facing our emotions our pain will continue. To hold onto the old means we slowly die, maybe not physically, but there are people who die at 50 even though they may live for decades.
This time in our lives can inspire us to discover who we really are and what we really want. It may lead to resurrecting some dreams while putting others to bed. It’s a time for being free to be who you really are.
Harvard Business Review says that at midlife we have more freedom than at any other time. They also say that the notion that possibilities slip away as we age is false.
By midlife we don’t have the same anxieties, the same pressures, we don’t worry as much about what other people may think, we have more self-knowledge and more skills.
Harvard Business Review also says, “Dreams must be connected to our potential. Otherwise, they are idle fantasies.” This is why so many people fail to achieve, their dreams aren’t connected to their strengths.
Any life crisis is an opportunity for transcendence, change and transformation.
Thank you Anne.
This is so relevant to me right now, it’s as if you are writing to me. Come at a time when I need to read this.
May you be Blessed