When Mastin Kip started the Daily Love he envisaged a website with over a million readers and he set the intention to become the Huffington Post of personal growth. Not long after he was invited to a party where he met Agapi, who turned out to be Arianna Huffington’s sister. When you read Mastin’s story of how powerful people such as Tony Robbins and Oprah just turned up in his life and helped turn his dream into reality, it sounds like a fairy tale. What most people don’t realise is that same help is available to all of us, and that includes YOU. First, though we need to be open to receive and understand that self love is the foundation upon which we build a happy life, we do this by being willing to love ourselves exactly as we are, where we are, right now.
Of his own journey to loving himself Mastin said[1], “I didn’t realise that there is a middle path – a place where self-love and serving others meet. Instead I got on board with ‘narcissism’ and it took me for a ride. I went from thinking God was fully outside of me, to thinking God was fully within me. In fact, I started to think that on some level I was God, not a piece of God (as we all are)”.
Many people interpret self love as putting yourself first, but there is much more to it than that. It is feeling good about yourself. This is more than just making time for yourself and doing things you enjoy, it is being willing to accept yourself exactly as you are. It is having the courage to follow your heart, despite your fears and go out into the world as the imperfect person you are because you feel called to do something. It is about acting on your inner wisdom and guidance on a daily basis and, making your opinion of you more important than anyone else’s opinion of you.
Self love takes you into the energy field I call the Dharma Zone, which is the space where life flows, where people and opportunities simply come into your life. We don’t have to be perfect to live in the Dharma Zone, we just have to be willing.
I’ve been in the Dharma Zone many times. When I decided I wanted to write a magazine column I visualised my photo and the column each day for about a month, I practised writing columns and within three months I was writing for 2 major magazines and several newspapers. When I decided to write a book I took one day a week off work to work on book. I contacted publishers and within months Doubleday made me an offer. When I decided I wanted to live in a more beautiful area the opportunity presented itself within a couple of months. Any obstacles I encountered after these opportunities presented themselves resulted from my inability to accept what is and my lack of trust.
I urge you to do something every day that makes you feel good about you. This encompasses the way you treat others, the way you treat yourself and the way you allow others to treat you. Often we think we will feel better about ourself when we lose weight, have more money, become successful, or when someone loves us, and that may be true, but trying to achieve goals when a part of us resists what is just keeps us stuck in the same old cycle. It is not just about doing something regularly that makes you feel good, it’s doing something regularly that makes you feel good about you.
Living in the Dharma Zone is never about living a problem free life or not feeling fearful, in fact it is the space where you embrace your fears, because fear is all that stands between you and love. Love always starts with self, then as we become more comfortable it naturally flows from us to all mankind.
Loving yourself is about appreciating who you are, valuing the effort you make to be the best person you can be, it is never based it upon anything external. It is being able to look at criticism and see if there is any merit in it, if there is do something, if there is not, simply accept it is just someone’s opinion that you don’t agree with.
Self love is feeling good about who you are and the way you are living your life, and if you are not quite there yet, it is having the courage to take whatever steps necessary to get yourself to that state.
[1] Daily Love, Mastin Kipp, Hay House.